I Like The Guy... Should I Sleep With Him?
Updated: Oct 7, 2019
How to communicate Your standarts? The biggest problem here is that we, women, sometimes don't know what our standarts are, what is ok for us and what is not ok for us, what kind of treatment do I expect from the guy. The second question comes when we know our standarts, how to effectively communicate my standarts? Having standarts is sexy, but communicating them in a way when you do look nag, stubborn and agressive is not sexy at all.
Communicating standarts can be a slightly difficult thing.. If You know how to do that right, you will get the guy attracted to You on a completely different level. If you avoid talking about standarts, running away from that situation or being passive, hideingthe way you feel or distancing yourself from a guy, that he can not hurt You, You are missing the opportunity to influence guys, put an amazing impact in relationships. So how we, girls (no matter how old are you!), communicate our standarts?
Imagine the situation when the guy at the end of the first date invites You to his place.. Seems familiar? Cha cha.. Each guy will communicate that in his own way and most of them can be really advanced and include their unique little tricks..
Now i want to make an example of woman who has and communicates her standarts, but not in a right way – she is too agressive. For ex. She says: „who do you think I am?“, „Are you kidding me?“, „It‘s so disrespectful“, „you think I would go to your home on a first date??“ and etc. That is the woman that creates confrontation, makes the guy feel uncomfortable, pulls him and his ego down, makes him feel that he doesn't want to have any chances with her again, or even to see and hear about her again. This behavior doesn't create excitement for the guy for sure.
Another example when a woman has her standarts, but is too sweet to communicate them directly, too polite. She is afraid too much of confrontation and with her uncertainty confuses the guy and doesn't stand out like a woman who really knows what she wants and she is not afraid to tell that. This type usually makes excuses: „I can not stay today, because...(any reason), but hopefully I see you later this week“. So he doesn't really know that it was too fast for her, that he has to respect her standarts. What he heard? She made an excuse.
The worst thing is another passive woman, who doesn't really want to go with him, it's too early for her. But she is afraid to tell that, she goes because she doesn't want to make him feel bad, to pull him away. Girls, please never do that!!
Now let's talk about the perfect scenario. Some women know the secrets of great communication and they get what they want, keep controlling situation. They are like „sweet and sault“ food, which you try and want more and more, perfect taste, not too much sweet or too much salt, exact right level. The agrressive woman is too salty, the passive woman was too sweet-she didnt show her standarts enough!
I am going to share what is the right level, 3 steps communication with a guy:
1. Make sure he knows that he is attractive for You
2. Show your standarts
3. Keep doors open.
How could it sound?
1. You know what, you are a very attractive guy and there is a part in me who would love to go with you now;
2. But its not my style to move that fast, I don’t do that.
3. If you wanna take me out later this week or next week, I’d love that.
You create the spark, desire by telling how attractive he is, but straight after that you let him know your values and standarts. Lastly, you open the door for him to keep hanging out with You and step up his game.
Believe me, the guy will be sooo excited!! He might try to convince you to change your mind, but You should stay calm, knowing what you want and communicating it in a very polite, direct and respectful way. If he wants to play the game, lets play! But rules are created by YOU!